Tag Archives: body awareness

‘ARE YOU SITTING COMFORTABLY?’

Ways of Remembering, ,

‘Then I’ll begin…’ It was the start of story-time on children’s hour when I was little, and we would all settle down to enjoy the story. For some reason it re-appeared in my memory this week, and prompted me to think about what being comfortable means.

It’s surprising at first when you look at its etymology: it means originally to be in your own strength. We think of being comfortable as being relaxed, at ease, rather than strong. And when you think about it some more, you realise that it is a form of strength that we don’t usually recognise or use, given us to help us to live our lives well.

So let’s explore it some more. When we feel physically comfortable, we are more likely to be in the flow mentally, and emotionally balanced. This is because the body reflects directly how we are feeling and cannot be controlled by our conscious mind; it shows us whether something is right or wrong for us by its reaction, if we choose to listen to it.

How useful is that!! I don’t have to try and work it out through my thinking: that mind that can argue the case for almost anything! I can just notice how my body is feeling, use a simple question to myself: ‘ Is my body comfortable with this?’

And if it isn’t, then we can use it to help us to improve the situation. If we know how our body feels when we are comfortable, then we can adjust ourselves physically until we get those feelings, and our emotions and our mind will automatically re-balance themselves, and we will easily think of an alternative way of handling the situation.

So begin by noticing when you are comfortable. What are you like physically – your shoulders, your belly, your breathing? And appreciate the effect that physical comfort has on your mental and emotional state.

Then notice when you slip out of comfort, and how different it feels physically. Begin with the simple everyday events that cause this slip: thinking about dinner tonight and not being in the mood to plan something to eat; the phone ringing when you are in the middle of something else; seeing 50 emails drop into your in-box in the morning. And just step away for a moment and get yourself physically comfortable again: now what are you going to do about it? By practising regaining your comfort on small things, you develop the habit of using being comfortable as a mechanism to reduce the stresses of life and to tap into your own ability to deal more constructively and imaginatively with the things that life throws at you.

We were born with this wondrous gift – let’s use it. Are you sitting comfortably? Now let’s begin!!

YOUR ENERGY BANK

Ways of Remembering, ,

Have you ever noticed how your energy levels vary significantly from day to day, week to week? I think of it as being like a bank account: sometimes there’s quite a healthy balance and then a big bill comes in and you’re back in the red again! I find this a useful analogy because it reminds us that we need to monitor our energy bank balance, just as we do our financial affairs.

We need the basic regular incoming of energy: the ways in which we give ourselves energy to fulfil our daily requirements. There are the straightforward physical needs: sleep, food, drink, and physical movement. Then there are the metal stimuli to keep our minds active and alert, which may be our work, reading, or crosswords and Sudoku! And the third category is those things that give us emotional energy: good conversation, activities we really enjoy, giving and receiving love and affection.

These categories of energy supply are like three different sources of income, and we need input from all three to ensure we have a good energy balance. It is not enough to keep one of these topped up, and neglect the others, because it is the combination of them that forms our energy levels. So to maintain our regular ‘income’ of energy, we need to ensure that we actively build our energy physically, mentally and emotionally.

As we become aware of how we can actively fulfil our energy requirements, we begin to accumulate a repertoire of ways of enhancing our energy levels, should we need to, or want to. And the good thing about energy income is that we can easily increase our income: it is not dependent on outside sources, it is within our control to enhance those levels through things we choose to do or not do.

Then we need to assess what drains our energy, empties the account. You do know this: there are certain activities and interactions that leave us feeling drained or use up a lot of our energy. The first question is, can we limit those or even eliminate them? Usually these energy-drainers are linked to things we do out of duty or obligation. Now I’m not suggesting that we don’t do them any more – unless we really don’t need to and only do it from force of habit – but we can certainly reduce their impact.

If you want to maintain your good relationship with your aunt/brother/old friend, but find them draining, arrange to see them in a way that allows you to limit the time you spend with them. If you need to sort your emails regularly, but it’s an activity you don’t like, then allocate specific times to it. What we can also do, having reduced the impact of our energy-drainers, is make sure we have some energy boosters in place for either before or after, or both!

And as we become more aware of what empties our energy account fast for us, we can be more careful about how many of those drainers we allow into our lives. Many of us have too many energy expenditures and it is hard to keep that balance topped up.

I want to make a final point about our energy banks. The sources of energy for us, and the things that drain us, may not be consistent. Sometimes going for a walk is just what we need, and sometimes that would be just a step too far, so to speak! Sometimes a friend’s company re-energises us, and sometimes we just want to be quiet and on our own to recover our energy levels. So keeping your energy bank balance healthy requires staying aware of your own wisdom and intuition.

When our energy levels are down, we don’t think straight, or feel good, and everything can become draining, causing enormous overdraughts on the account very quickly. The good news is that there are always sources of energy within our control, no matter what’s going on in our world, so when we are feeling drained it is always possible to do something about it.

Identify your sources of energy, use them, keep topping up your balance, and life gets easier. Go on, find an energy topper now, and allow yourself to use it!!

MOVING MATTERS

Ways of Remembering, , ,

I have recently strained my back and leg quite badly, resulting in a significant reduction in my ability to move freely – a rather dramatic way of reminding myself how much moving our bodies matters! When the only comfortable place is sitting still, it is not easy to stay positive, and the mind and emotions seem to freeze up to match the state of the body. Yet many of us choose to adopt such static positions for long hours without being conscious of the effect it has on us`: in front of the computer, in the car, in front of the TV.

Why it matters

Without movement, our muscles get atrophied, our natural biological flow slows down, and this affects every part of us, not just our bodies. As we become static, so do our minds, because there is a direct connection. We become ‘stuck’ in a particular perspective and our creativity and flexibility in thinking reduces. And our emotions also become stuck, which I guess would be OK if we’re feeling really positive, but most of us are not sitting in a state of bliss!

The benefits of moving our bodies

When we move our bodies, we ‘reset’ ourselves. Our bodies are designed for movement, and the relaxation and tension of muscles that happens when we move enables the flow of our blood, to carry nutrients and hormones throughout our bodies. The biological shift of flow and energy automatically releases our mental and emotional states as well.

We all know this: everyone has experienced the moments of inspiration that can happen when we move away from something, to go to the toilet, or make a cup of tea. And most of us have walked away from a situation and, if we keep walking, begun to calm down and have a more useful perspective.

So move!

In my mum’s day, before computers were prevalent, and when most people didn’t have a car, a certain level of movement in the day was normal. They didn’t talk about doing exercise or going to the gym to keep themselves fit and mobile. But we have become a lot more sedentary, and may only move in spurts rather than regularly throughout the day.

I am not talking about having to ‘exercise’ here. I am talking about standing, walking, stretching, bending to pick things up, gardening, cleaning – the ordinary ways we can move our bodies during the day.

Take 5 minutes every hour, to stand, stretch, walk to somewhere.

Walk up or down the stairs instead of taking the lift or escalator.

Park at the far end of the car park, so you have a little walking between car and office or shop.

Stretch your body gently when you get out of the car after a journey.

Give your body a chance to flow again, give your mind a chance to broaden its perspective, give your emotions a chance to rebalance – you’re not a static machine, you’re designed to move!

CHANGING THE PACE OF LIFE

Ways of Remembering, ,

Most of you who read this live, as I do, in temperate climes. That means we are just experiencing the dramatic change to the length of our day, where not only do the days get shorter naturally, but we put our clocks back and emphasise the shift, so darkness starts even earlier. As those of you who know me know, I am not a winter person; in fact I have been known to be really awful at dealing with the cold short days!

However, over the years I have gradually learnt to deal more effectively with it, and intend to continue to see if I can change the effect on me.

We have learnt to take no notice of the natural seasonal changes, carrying on with our normal busy lives, and acting as if nature has no part to play in how we act, but this is not true. Our bodies are biologically designed to interact with the natural world around us, and if we can cater for this in some ways, we will make life easier for ourselves.

After all, even doctors are now acknowledging that there may be something in this interaction with the seasonal changes – we now have SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) seen as a reality, and as something physical, not just psychological. And on a more anecdotal level, notice that people’s moods are often adversely affected by grey skies, cold, rain, and that we are more inclined to just curl up in front of the TV in these long evenings.

So what can we do to make it easier for ourselves?

First of all, remember that we physically need daylight. It helps regulate our body clock so we sleep properly, and some believe that it stimulates our pituitary gland and helps us to produce the vitamin D we need for our health, particularly if there is some sunshine. So see if you can get out into the daylight, however dull it may be, for 15 minutes a day. Many people go from home to car to work and back again for 5 days a week, with only seconds spent outside in the light. A short walk at lunchtime could make a big difference to how you feel.

Then look at what you expect yourself to do, and see if you can make some seasonal adjustments. At this time of year, your body is beginning to prepare for some form of hibernation – a slowing down for the winter period. We may not be able to change our working patterns, but we can certainly change our rest-of-life patterns, to cater somewhat for the natural inclination of our bodies. When we were hunter-gatherers, late autumn and winter was the time to rest and recuperate, and to catch up on ourselves. So give yourself permission to do the same.

This is a good time for indoor projects, as I suggested in my last blog. Do a bit of clearing out, and make your home even more comfortable and welcoming.

Do something creative: make a different evening meal, get out those drawing materials and play with them, learn to make your own Christmas decorations, or read about something you’ve been interested in for a while.

Make the long winter evenings a time you look forward to, when you indulge in something you enjoy: do a jigsaw, read a book, watch a movie.

And remember the rest and recuperation part of the story. Catch up on your sleep, and allow yourself to recover from the cumulative exhaustion of your busy life. Have friends round and enjoy a sociable evening of food, drink and conversation. Make some hearty winter food: home-made soup, a good roast dinner – things that feel heart-warming.

Weekends are an opportunity to top up on some daylight as well. If you have children, take them to a country park or local play area – they still have the instinct to be outdoors in the daylight when you can. And just notice the plants changing: leaves dropping, berries on bushes, the touch of frost sparkling, and everything quietening down to rest, ready to spring to life again in a few months.

This is a time of permission to power down for a while, to build your energy to take full advantage of the surge of spring. Go with it, and you will transform your winter.

Actions to take

  1. Take a short walk every day and get some fresh air
  2. Give yourself a winter project – something to make your home feel even more welcoming
  3. Do something creative that’s also fun
  4. Do something you enjoy that you can do at home
  5. Catch up on your sleep – let yourself sleep for longer than usual when you can
  6. Make some hearty winter food
  7. Relax with friends
  8. Notice and enjoy the changes in the natural world

REMEMBERING TO USE YOUR BODY’S INTELLIGENCE – PART TWO

Ways of Remembering, , ,

Last time I wrote about ways to notice the body signals that tell us that we need to take more care of ourselves physically. Once we get better at listening to the simple basic needs of our bodies, we can move to the next level of awareness of our body’s intelligence.

The body has a direct physical reaction to every thought action or behaviour we have. Each of these is ‘assessed’ by the body as either maintaining/enhancing our ‘ecology’ – the optimal balance of the system – or throwing it off balance. By the way, if you were in consistent static balance, you’d be bored to tears! The balance I am describing is not static, it is dynamic.

There are times when I need to be off-balance for a while, in order to move to the next level of balance as a system. For example, if I am learning a new skill, I may feel uncomfortable until I have integrated it into the way I do things. So the assessments by the body are constantly taking into account the specific circumstances, rather than having a single ‘right answer’ – part of what demonstrates its intelligence!

If we can use this element of the body’s intelligence, we can make our lives so much easier! I know that, for me, I used to persist in situations and cycles of thought which made me feel anxious or irritable, because I thought I had to. I would be with someone whose conversation offended my values, I would continue to worry at the miserable thoughts I was having, like a dog with a bone, I would agree to do things that I thought I should do, even though I didn’t want to – and I still do all these things sometimes!!

However I was lucky enough to be taught a way to help myself to tell the difference between something that made me feel a little uncomfortable because it was unfamiliar, and something which my body’s intelligence assessed as uncomfortable because it detracted from my balance, my ecology.

Notice I only use the words comfortable or uncomfortable: they are good generic words which don’t label the reaction specifically and pin it down.

So what is the ‘trick’ to this distinction? Your body has two clear signals it gives to you: one tells you that whatever it is is wrong for you, and the other tells you that whatever it is is right for you.

‘Wrong’ signals may be things like: your breath becoming shallower; your foot fidgeting; your shoulders hunching a little; your arm feeling itchy; that sinking feeling in your stomach.

‘Right’ signals may be things like: your breathing becoming deeper; your chest feeling expanded; your shoulders relaxing; your jaw loosening; finding you are humming a little tune to yourself.

To discover your signals, just remember a time when, you realise with hindsight, it was just right for you. When you think of how your body was reacting, what’s the first things you are aware of? And now do the same with a time when you know it was wrong for you.

Once we are aware of our signals, we can use them to help us. Let’s start with the ‘right’ signal. Just begin to notice the thoughts and situations that switch it on. And then consciously consider ways you could bring more of those kinds of thoughts and situations into your life. By the way, don’t make this hard! If your answers are like: ‘when I am with my friend whom I only see about every 3 months’ or ‘when I’m on holiday’, then it can seem impossible to have more. So what is it about these situations that feels right? Maybe such things as being with people whom I can just be myself with, or allowing myself to do just what I feel like, which are both situations you could expand into other, more everyday parts of your life.

Now what about the ‘wrong’ signal? Again begin to notice the thoughts and situations that switch it on. Now ask yourself: ‘How can I reduce the number of these thoughts and situations I have to deal with?’ I am a great believer in beginning by applying the Snoopy axiom: if you don’t like it, avoid it whenever possible!! Where it isn’t possible to avoid, then ask yourself: ‘What could I do differently in the future to make this more comfortable?’ Our innate wisdom usually gives us some useful things to experiment with, such as limit the time spent on it, or distract yourself by doing something else, or take a step back from the situation and let them get on with it.

Most of us put up with a lot of discomfort we aren’t obliged to, because we don’t see any alternative. In fact, a lot of the time we don’t even see it as discomfort, we just think it’s normal! Yet we have a means of helping ourselves to increase the time we spend feeling good, and reduce the time we spend feeling bad – our bodies encompass great aids for our well being, in every sense. They are a live, dynamic and intelligent system, designed to help us to be at our best. So let’s use that help to make our lives easier!

Questions to ask yourself

  1. Remember a time when, you realise with hindsight, it was just right for you. When you think of how your body was reacting, what are the first things you are aware of?
  2. What sort of thoughts/situations switch these signals on for you? And how could you bring more of them into your life?
  3. Remember a time when, you realise with hindsight, it was not right for you. When you think of how your body was reacting, what are the first things you are aware of?
  4. How can you reduce the number of these thoughts and situations you have to deal with? And if you can’t avoid those situations, what could you do differently in the future to make them more comfortable for you and reduce their negative impact?

REMEMBERING TO USE YOUR BODY’S INTELLIGENCE

Ways of Remembering, , , ,

Our bodies are a marvellous network of awareness that can help us to be healthy and happy. They are designed as a complex inter-related system, which passes messages from one part to another, to maintain and build itself to be the best it can possibly be. So why don’t we use its intelligence more?

When we were little, and didn’t know any other way, we listened to and responded to our bodies’ messages. In the first place these are simple: I’m hungry, thirsty; I need to move or rest; I need a cuddle or to be on my own. Quite quickly, we learn to ignore these messages, because we are reliant on others to a large extent to fulfil the need, and others are not reliable!

Then, as we are more able to fulfil our own needs, we realise that ‘the world doesn’t work like that’. We are expected to eat, drink at certain times, stay still in classrooms and offices, keep working until it is time to stop, and not ask for cuddles any more! We get so good at ignoring our bodies that we forget to listen to their messages at all, until they are shouting at us so loudly that we have to take some notice – usually through illness or complete exhaustion.

Like most of us, I learnt these lessons well, and became very skilful at ignoring my body until it broke down. It was when my doctor told me that the reason I couldn’t move without pain was that I had refused to stop for too long and my body was rebelling and forcing me to stop that I registered that this was not very useful!

So I began to re-learn how to listen – and at first it was quite shocking! I realised how often my body was uncomfortable – aching, palpitating, tired, stiff, ‘butterflies in the stomach’ etc.

I had more complex messages from my body than when I was a baby: there were not only the simple physical needs; there were also the emotional reactions to deal with. What all the physical signs told me was that I was very out of balance as a system a lot of the time.

Do you recognise any of these body messages? Just do a quick scan right now and notice what your body feels like…

It is one thing to become aware again, and quite another to do something about it. So how do we remember to listen to our body’s intelligence, and then act on it?

Firstly, let’s gently learn to listen again – we have to retrain ourselves, so you need to go gently – otherwise it becomes onerous. Start by checking in, maybe twice or three times a day. What do you notice when you stop and pay attention to your body? Is it hungry or thirsty? Does it need to move or rest? Is it uncomfortable or comfortable? And if you can make it feel more comfortable by responding to these basic needs, do so. So often I will say to myself: ‘ Oh, I need a piece of fruit, or something to drink, or to sit down for a few minutes’, and wonder how I could have been so unaware of it!

When we begin to pay this attention to the needs our bodies are expressing, it becomes more habitual, and we start to notice the messages more often. Then we can take it a step further, so that we are not just responding to needs, but are beginning to actually nurture our bodies.

Firstly, you start by not just doing something to satisfy the need, but rather asking: what sort? ‘What sort of food do I want?’ what sort of movement do I want?’

Then, to enrich it further, give your body some treats! What makes your body feel really good? Is it a cycle ride, a slow hot bath, a good curry, a nap in the afternoon, a massage? You will have your own favourites. So, at least once a week, preferably more often, do something that makes your body feel good – after all, it works hard for you, it deserves some treats!

By gradually remembering more and more to listen to our bodies, we enhance our well-being, and reduce the need for our bodies to ‘shout’ at us with illness and exhaustion. It has to be worth it!

QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF

2 or 3 times a day: What do you notice when you stop and pay attention to your body? Is it hungry or thirsty? Does it need to move or rest? Is it uncomfortable or comfortable? And if you can make it feel more comfortable by responding to these basic needs, do so.

What sort of food/drink/movement/rest would work best for my body right now?

Treats – at least once a week: what would make my body feel really good today?