It’s a new year and that time when we review the last year and think about how we want this year to be. The trouble with New Year resolutions is that they tend to be absolute, i.e. they tend to be goals that we attain or, more often, fail to attain.

I don’t know about you, but, in the past, mine have tended to be pretty repetitive – same old goals, same old failing to reach them! And I’ve learnt to do it differently, in a way that makes me feel I’m making progress instead of failing. My New Year resolutions are relative.

What that means in practice is that I look at where I’m up to in how I want to be, and then ask myself:

‘What would I prefer to do more of, or less of, or the same as, last year?’

‘Is there anything I’m ready to leave behind, or add into my life, to make it how I want it to be?’

It’s a kinder approach because I’m working on progressing to how I want to be, not how I should be, and I don’t specify how much, just some progress. It also allows for where I am now, so it isn’t a pressure to make radical change, it’s a refinement to make my life a bit better, in ways I’m ready for.

So this year, set some resolutions that are about some more of this, and less of that; ones that add in a bit of new, and leave behind a bit of old that is no longer right for you. Make them something you look forward to, rather than fail at.

Happy New Year!