What’s the most annoying thing someone can say to you? For me I think it’s ‘you’re wrong’. It immediately puts my back up.

We seem to live in a world where conflict, nastiness, blame, trolling, have become the norm and I find that sad. We are bound to have different opinions on things, but we often don’t dare to say what we think for fear of being shouted down, literally or metaphorically.

Yet the places where we differ are the most interesting spots. After all, if we all agreed about everything, we would live in a very boring world, and we would have no incentive to develop our ideas.

Disagreeing respectfully allows both sides to clarify their thoughts, and learn how others have reached their own conclusions. It can lead us to adapt our own thoughts or develop them further to enhance our case. And we are far more likely to influence someone else’s ideas if we make an effort to understand why they are saying what they are saying and why they have drawn the conclusions they have.

Even if we agree to disagree, we can still have enhanced our relationship with that person by respecting their view and allowing them their say.

Of course, I have sometimes disagreed disagreeably – there are some things I feel so strongly about that I can’t help but tell someone that I think they’re wrong. But overall, I gain more from respect for others’ viewpoint than I ever have from the momentary satisfaction of making someone wrong.

So if you disagree with me on this, it would be lovely if you could discuss it or debate it with me, rather than being disagreeable!