Tag Archives: appreciation

JOY

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You don’t hear this word very often: it is not a common part of our vocabulary – what a shame! It means delighting in something and is linked into its original meaning of playfulness (jouer in French). We do use the verb, enjoy, which means to feel the joy inside you, but we have diminished its meaning somewhat and reduced its positive impact on us.

So what is this joy?

I believe it is an innate part of human nature and needs nurturing inside us, if we are to be healthy happy human beings. It is that feeling of your heart singing, and things that evoke it do so over and over again. It goes beyond pleasure – that is temporary; a thing that gives your spirits a brief lift and then becomes taken-for-granted. Joy nurtures us, enhances our spirits each time we experience the same thing.

The effects of joy on us are powerful.

  • It enhances our physical health, because we release the positive hormones in our bodies that help us to heal and thrive
  • It enhances our mental health by literally opening up our minds, to be more creative and constructive, to have a bigger perspective
  • And joy enhances our emotional health by reminding us to appreciate the wonders of life rather than just the mundane everyday

Why don’t we have more joy in our lives?

I think we all automatically notice the sources of joy when we are little. As children, we have an open link to the potential for joy, so we delight in colours, shapes, smells, sounds – anything which taps into that place in us. And then we learn to ignore these things and get into the busyness of life where there is no time to stand and stare, no time to appreciate the moment, because there’s too much to do. We also learn that the simple things that evoke joy in us don’t count or aren’t valued: ‘It’s just a cloud,’ when we saw a wonderful dragon shape flying across the sky!

Re-find the joy

Delight in that first daffodil flowering – take a moment to allow it to make your heart sing.

Love the sound of the birds singing, even though it’s a grey, miserable day.

Take your shoes off and feel the dewy grass beneath your feet.

Really enjoy that fresh food you’ve prepared, that first cup of coffee – savour the tastes.

Joy is both simple and profound. It is readily available, should we choose to notice the possibilities, and it enriches our lives beyond measure.

Enjoy yourself: those adults were wrong who gave no value to it – ignore them and make your life joyous!

THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT CHRISTMAS…

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Anyone who knows me will know that I’m not a Christmas enthusiast. I used to love it as a child, because it was a couple of days when we spent time together as a family, playing board games and enjoying the treat of special food that we didn’t have the rest of the year: turkey, Christmas pudding, oranges, chocolate. My parents weren’t rich, so we had just one main present, and a stocking with fruit and sweets and a few bits and bobs from them, plus a few presents from relatives. But it wasn’t about the presents – it is the family fun that I remember.

We went to the local church for the carol service, although we weren’t a religious family – after all, it was Christmas. So as a child, I was aware of the link between a child being born who represented love and light and joy being brought into the world, and the love and fun we had as a family at that time of year.

What happened? Over the years, Christmas seems to have turned into a consumer event: too many presents to be bought, too much food being eaten or wasted, too much drink, and Christmas songs that don’t even mention Christ being born.

The message of Christmas, I believe, is love. It is a reminder that the greatest gift we ever give to another is our heartfelt love and attention.

So this Christmas, let’s concentrate on showing love to the world.

Show your love to your family and friends. Call them and wish them peace and joy if they are not at home with you. Hug them and laugh with them if they are: it will mean more than any of the other gifts you give.

Remember those who do not have the good fortune to be surrounded by love. How can we walk past a homeless person with bags full of presents and food? They may not even have a bed for the night. Give them something instead of buying that extra thing to put under the tree. Show a stranger that love and care still exist in our world. Go and wish that neighbour who is on their own a happy Christmas and have a cuppa with them before you cook the Christmas dinner.

And don’t forget to show yourself some love too. Make sure that you have a little time where you do exactly what you feel like doing during the festive period. Relax, enjoy yourself, give yourself permission to be selfish for an hour or two, because then your love for others can shine through clearly.

We may no longer be a religious culture, but that doesn’t mean that we no longer believe in love. If we are going to celebrate Christmas, let us do it by showing that we love and care about other human beings. Christ came into the world to remind us about love – let’s continue the tradition and celebrate love this Christmas.

And thank you for reading these blogs – it means a lot to me to know that you are there. Have a great Christmas break and may 2015 be a year of joy and peace for you.

APPRECIATING OTHERS

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I’m very lucky: my family and friends frequently tell me that they love me. I’m so glad that I get to hear it while I’m still alive, rather than having to wait for the eulogy at my funeral to be appreciated!

Yet a lot of the time, we don’t say directly to someone that we appreciate having them in our lives. We may tell someone else that we love our friend’s sense of humour, or that our work colleague is really supportive, or that our child’s laughter lifts our spirits, but we don’t often tell them.

I don’t quite understand why we don’t express our appreciation of others. Is it to do with being seen as ‘soppy’ or sentimental, that old cultural story of the ‘stiff upper lip’? Whatever the reason, I believe it’s time we revised the habit of holding back from saying the good things we think about others!

There are good healthy reasons to say what we love and appreciate to people:

  1. It makes us feel good! It creates a feeling in us that releases the happy hormones into our body.
  2. It enhances our appreciation of them when we think of what we love and appreciate about someone; we are reminded of why they matter in our lives.
  3. It is a lovely and simple gift to give. It doesn’t take much effort, yet it makes the other person feel great – we all like to be appreciated.

This came back to mind as I was talking to a friend about Christmas. Sending cards to people you don’t see or speak to very often is a great opportunity to tell them what you love and appreciate about them.

Imagine if every card you received said, ‘And what I love about you is..’ or ‘ Thank you for being… this year’ or just, ‘I’m so glad you’re in my life’. Wouldn’t that make your heart sing?

And of course, it isn’t just something to do at Christmas. It’s a habit to develop further in your everyday life.

Tell people that you appreciated something they did or said – let them know it made a difference.

Remember to actually tell the people you love that you do love them – often we only let them know when they are irritating us!

It’s so easy to get caught up in the busyness and stresses of life and to only be aware of the difficulties and negatives. Let’s put the emphasis in a different place. Let’s fill the world with the warmth of love and appreciation!