Tag Archives: change

THE WAY THINGS ARE GOING

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The results of the recent British general election delighted me – not because of the actual final result, but because of the underlying message. It was called by the conservatives on the assumption that people would respond to their insistence that they needed to be an even stronger majority in order to ‘beat’ the European leaders in the Brexit negotiations. Their message was based on fear and arrogance: without them we would lose out in the Brexit deal, and they knew best how to do it. It seems that they were ‘inspired’ by Donald Trump and his victory. They didn’t even bother to cost their manifesto properly and made no attempt to suggest that everyday life could improve – in fact, the opposite; they proposed more cuts. And when their ideas didn’t go down well, they slagged off the opposition, suggesting they were incompetent.

Labour, on the other hand, our main opposition party, campaigned on the basis of the belief that there could be a better way to approach the future in this country, talking about strategies to make people feel cared for, and they emphasised the policies that would help us to move forward, not just try to offset previous economic problems. They had worked carefully on their policies and thought them through, and they didn’t take the negative approach of trying to put down the conservatives – they explained how their own policies could work. Their message was based on looking forward positively and the genuine belief that there could be a better way in the future.

In the course of the electioneering, we had two terrorist attacks in Britain, and even then, fear was not the overwhelming reaction – it was kindness and courage and community.

And the Conservatives did get the majority of the seats, but not enough to form a government on their own – less than they had before. And Labour did lose the election, but gained 29 more seats and strengthened their voice throughout the country.

It seems to me that more people are tired of the emphasis on fear and individualism, and are wanting something more positive, inclusive and forward-looking. No-one ‘won’ this time, but the tide is turning.

And each of us can play our part in helping this tide to grow, because we reflect in microcosm what is going on on a grander scale, and we also contribute to it.

Reducing our fear

We have all absorbed the message that we need to be fearful of things getting worse in some way, because it is so prevalent in our culture. It may be sticking with a job you don’t like in case there’s nothing else out there for you, or thinking that we are unsafe on our own in a street, or some form of fitting in with peers even though you don’t really agree with it.

Whatever you have that is driven by a fear, just consider the possibility of stepping away from it a little – no grand gestures needed, just not allowing it to control you so much.

Compromising what we have as core values

Sometimes we all go along with something that isn’t being true to ourselves. We can all stand up for our values and give our genuine opinion. This doesn’t have to be harsh or argumentative. It can be as simple as saying, ‘I don’t agree with that,’ or ‘ I think that life would be better if….’

Telling our truth is important, and it can be done gently and kindly.

Moving towards a better way of living your life

It is easy to get caught in the story of wishing things were like they used to be, but that doesn’t make any difference. Let’s look to the future, and find small things to do that improve our lives.

Caring for yourself and others

Small acts of kindness create big differences. Let yourself have a rest instead of continuing to push yourself. Smile at that stranger whom you might otherwise ignore or avoid.

 

We can watch the news and feel that everything is wrong in our world, so what’s the point. Or we can notice the small signs that the tide is turning, and add our weight to them by playing our part. I prefer the second alternative – it is a more empowering, constructive and fun place to live!

MAKE A REAL RESOLUTION FOR 2017

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Happy New Year!

This is when we make those New Year resolutions – again! So how about doing it differently this time. I was wondering what the etymology (original meaning) of the word resolution is, and it comes from the Latin word solvere, which means to untie or loosen, with re- which means again. So a resolution is really having another go at loosening one of the ties that bind us: habits and behaviours that aren’t useful to us.

Now if this were easy, we would have done it the first time we had a go. So let’s tackle it with the recognition that we may need to just release a few of the knots, and use a different method to the ones we’ve tried before.

If we feel that more physical activity would be good for us, because we have become rather sedentary, how about choosing something easy and pleasurable to do, so it’s achievable and is an improvement we can easily make. If we feel that our eating habits could be healthier, we could choose one type of food to drop from our normal diet, and one to add, for interest. Do you get the drift?

This is supposed to enhance our lives, not make us feel like we’re punishing ourselves for our failures! And if it’s easy to achieve, we’re more likely to stick to it.

Finally, let’s continue the process of improving our lives and loosening the ties that bind by choosing s resolution that isn’t about correcting something that isn’t ‘good enough’. Let’s have one that is just about making life feel even better: maybe experiment with that dance class you’ve always fancied but not got round to, or book that return trip to Italy that you’ve thought about so often, or just have a go at cooking that meal you’ve always meant to have a go at.

We so often make resolutions we don’t stick to. Make 2017 the year when your resolutions really do make a positive difference in your lives.

COMPLETE DISRUPTION IS A GOOD THING

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My quiet peaceful life has recently been totally disrupted – I got two kittens! Well, they’re called kittens, but they sound like baby elephants galloping across the floor, and they can scatter litter tray contents, food, and objects off shelves as if they were a horde of monkeys. They take turns to run between my legs as I’m walking and climb up me when I’m getting their food ready – or on the computer. They lose their toys under chairs, and play with my knitting wool, pens and electric wires instead. They chase my feet and hands when I get into bed, and yowl piteously at the door if I shut them out of the bedroom. Oh, and they love climbing up curtains, on to the toilet seats – on fact anywhere that looks impossible.

At first I wondered why on earth I had decided to put myself through this again – morning routines disrupted, attention distracted, flowers and plants chewed, things knocked over. I should have known better – after all I have had kittens before.

Then I began to notice the gifts they bring.

  • They lie on my lap, warm and trusting
  • They greet me with loud purrs when I’ve been out
  • They make me laugh out loud with their antics
  • They tempt me to stop and play with them rather than ploughing on with whatever I’m doing

And they have prompted me to re-examine what’s really important: routines, habits, objects. Some are being adapted to include them, and some are staying, but the review is useful and needed to be prompted.

Above all, they are constant reminders of what being in the moment really means. They don’t hold grudges or sulk, they ask for food if they’re hungry, they sleep if they’re tired, they come for fussing when they want attention, they walk away when they’ve had enough. And we think we humans are evolved!!

Disruption comes in many forms: a child, a pet, a new relationship – a change of some sort in your circumstances. It took me a couple of weeks to realise that it’s a gift, and I chose to take it on! When it’s not something you’ve chosen – an illness, a break-up, a job loss – it may take longer. Nonetheless, when we look back, most of us can see that it was a good thing in some ways, that it helped us to revise our lives and really recognise what is important.

Oh! Smokey has just decided that stroking him is more important than carrying on writing – time to stop!!

 

WHEN CHAOS REIGNS, WHAT DO WE DO?

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Living in Britain right now is not a pleasant experience. More of our taken-for-granted’s have been turned upside down than most people realise yet, as a result of power politics, fabrications and fear-mongering. At a time like this, it is hard to see a way through that will lead to anything good.

It is tempting to despair, to feel powerless, to give in to the fear. And yes, I have had my rants about corrupt politics, false democracy, short-sightedness and provoking the worst of people’s fears and prejudices.

And now it is time to take stock. We cannot undo what is done; we can only let the dust settle and see what we can do to make a positive difference to what we now have.

This level of chaos can happen to all of us personally during our lifetimes: we lose our job, or our home; our relationship breaks up or a loved one dies; we become seriously ill. Any of these will turn our world upside down and leave us in despair. Let’s apply the wisdom of learning from our personal experience to what’s going on at a national level.

What happens when we deal with a crisis well?

Firstly we need to step back and lick our wounds. That means allowing emotions to run their course and become more manageable, whilst treating ourselves gently to help ourselves to recover from the shock.

By stepping back, we are able to see what is left that we can use or salvage. So the next step is to take those things out of the chaos and identify what we can now create with them to use as our starting point. It will not be the same as before, but the chaos does tend to reveal some things we had forgotten about or taken for granted that can help us to deal with the situation. For example, friends rally round and offer support, and we re-discover our own passion and determination that had got buried in routine and habitual behaviour.

Now we have a foundation on which to create a revised version of our life that works better for us. Through the chaos, we discover what is really important to us, and what is just window-dressing. We realise which of our personal characteristics are most helpful to us, and which are just conditioned responses. And we recognise the genuine support we have from others and can let go of the ‘fair weather’ friends who are only there when everything is going well for us.

For most of us, when we look back at times of chaos in our lives, we can see that the chaos led to a better version of who we are and how our life is.

For now, chaos reigns in Britain. Let’s all play our part by letting the dust settle, allowing ourselves to recover, and then using our personal ability to create something better. Our government has been questionable, our financial institutions have been shaky, our social values have been corroded for a while. Maybe now we can help to ensure that we don’t have the same story in a slightly different form, but insist on upholding the things that really matter, and create a new and improved version of this world of ours.

THE POWER OF ONE

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I watched a fascinating documentary this week called ‘I Am’ by Tom Shadyac. It’s about what’s wrong with the world and what can be done about it, featuring some of the great thinkers of our time, and I love its conclusions. On of them is about the power of one – one step, one action, one change in behaviour. ‘Small everyday acts accumulate and create change, personally, socially and culturally.’

It reminded me that change of any sort doesn’t appear out of nowhere. It happens because gradually more and more people think differently, act differently, until there is a critical mass. So each time we do those small everyday acts, we contribute to changing the world for the better.

It is easy to feel powerless in the face of poverty, negativity, ecological destruction, never-ending war. And we are educated into believing that only governments and large corporations can really change things – and they show few signs of wanting to improve our world for all of us. Yet history shows that governments do effect change when there is enough noise from ordinary people to force them not to ignore it, and that those who are considered to be leaders of change for the better – Gandhi, Mandela, Martin Luther King – only emerge when there is already a groundswell of people who believe in and actively want those changes, and who are actively taking some of those small steps to make a difference.

So what can we do?

The principle of the power of one can be applied at every level. So begin by identifying a change for the better you want in your own life. Maybe you want to be fitter, spend more time with those you love, connect with nature more, have more fun…

Now take one small step in that direction, today: go for a walk round the block; phone a friend you haven’t seen for a while and arrange to meet up; go to the local park and look at, maybe even touch, the flowers and trees; play a silly game with your children, your partner (try our top 5 films, books, TV programmes – it’s fascinating!)

Now look at your community, whether that is geographical, the people you work with, or the circle of friends you have. What would be an improvement in that area?

Maybe say hello to neighbours and get to know them a bit more; or talk about something different when you go the pub with mates; or talk face-to-face with work colleagues instead of emailing them; or just take a bag and pick up some of the litter you see on the street.

And more generally? How do we make a positive difference at a global level? As Friends of the Earth have always said, ‘Think global, act local.’

Add your name to petitions for changes. There are lots of them on-line: avaaz; friends of the earth; sum of us; amnesty international; and many more. Give something to the homeless person on the street, or at least say hello. Contribute to a water pump for a village through Oxfam. Stop using pesticides in your garden and encourage friends to do the same.

And above all else, treat everyone you encounter as another valuable human being. Be kind, thoughtful, pleasant, no matter how they are being

So this week, begin to use the power of one more. Let’s make a difference in this world of ours, and change it for the better. One small everyday act is all it takes. Just imagine the difference if we simply all applied this principle!